I Heard You the First Time!

Have you ever found yourself on the giving or receiving end of that statement? Maybe you've said it to your spouse, or thought it when your boss was repeating something for the umpteenth time. Or perhaps you’ve heard it after repeating something two, three, or more times. It’s a common feeling: the assumption that if you’ve said something once, surely it’s been heard. But the truth is, if you think you’re over-communicating, you’re probably just getting close.

In fact, communicating at least three times is often the bare minimum. Whether you're sending an email, giving a speech, or writing a newsletter, the rule of three is crucial: tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. It may sound repetitive, but in today’s world, where we're constantly pulled in a million directions and often multitasking, we often miss important information. Even if your message is delivered clearly, your audience might only absorb part of it – or worse, miss it entirely.

Take, for example, the annual office holiday party. You send out the invite weeks in advance, making sure everyone knows it’s an ugly sweater contest with a relaxed, festive dress code. You even make it crystal clear that the event is meant to be fun and casual—no need for fancy attire, just fun holiday gear. Everyone RSVPs and shows up ready to compete for the title of “Ugliest Sweater,” sporting garish patterns, reindeer antlers, and light-up accessories.

Except for Gary. Gary shows up in a full suit and tie, looking like he’s ready for a board meeting, not a party. “Isn’t this a formal holiday gathering?” he asks, confused. Despite your numerous reminders and the casual, fun vibe you’ve been promoting, Gary completely missed the memo. This scenario highlights the importance of over-communication. Even though you communicated the dress code several times, a little extra reinforcement might have helped avoid this awkward moment.

When we’re unsure about how well we’ve communicated, we tend to hold back, assuming that we’ve said enough. But communication isn’t just about speaking – it’s about ensuring clarity, understanding, and connection. It’s about actively creating space for feedback, addressing concerns, and proactively keeping others informed. Without that reinforcement, your message could be lost, no matter how clearly you’ve spoken the first time.

Effective communication builds transparency, fosters trust, and strengthens relationships. So next time you think you might be over-communicating, take a step back. Consider it an opportunity to make sure you're being heard, understood, and valued. And remember, asking for confirmation—whether it’s a strategic question or simply inviting your audience to ask questions—ensures that you’re truly connecting and that everyone is on the same page.

As we explore different types of communication—verbal, written, non-verbal—it becomes clear why repetition and clarity are vital in all aspects of life and business. Repetition isn’t redundancy; it’s reinforcement. And when done right, it creates stronger, more impactful connections with your audience.