Friendship Chronicles: Tales of Connection and Growth

"Weddings have a way of bringing people together. I enjoyed spending the week alongside you to love and support (the bride). Thank you for helping with the kids. You are now Auntie Doris."

My day began with this beautiful post from a friend, marking a pivotal moment in our budding friendship. We were in Columbus, Ohio, to celebrate the wedding of a mutual friend. The bride hosted us in her home, and as our camaraderie deepened, it sparked reflections on the nature of friendship itself.

This friendship got me thinking about friendships in general and how they can ebb and flow, sometimes starting as childhood friends that last a lifetime and sometimes beginning with shared interests as adults and blooming into best friends.

I was one of those awkward kids growing up, often picked last for sports teams and camp bunkmates. The other kids’ moms were buying their daughters Jordache jeans, and my parents shopped exclusively at Kmart. I remember running home in tears on many occasions because no one in school liked me.

Before heading to junior high, I manifested a new and bolder personality. I adopted the career advice “act like you have the job you want, not the job you have” well before I ever entered the working world. That advice worked well for me. I didn’t join the “cool kids,” but I did make friends, and my life improved. Some kids from elementary school didn’t recognize the new me.

Fast forward several decades, and a week in Columbus for a wedding and pre-wedding shenanigans, and the anatomy of friendship lays heavy on my mind.

Why do some friendships start strong and never waiver while others fade away? Do we choose our friends? Or do they choose us? Do some happen by chance and turn into bridesmaids? One obvious answer is that we ourselves evolve and change, and things we had in common in our twenties or thirties are no longer relevant. Distance can make it hard to stay close, or a tragedy in our lives can change us into a completely different person.

How many of us have past friendships we would like to revive? Wishing we could go back in time and fix whatever derailed what we thought was a Best Friend Forever?

I cherish the friends I have today. I try hard to stay connected to old friends, but I’m not always successful. I am grateful that Facebook reminds me about birthdays. I am so grateful for new friendships that start with a game of pickleball or meet-up for coffee or appetizers and for friendships that quickly blossom thanks to mall walks, fitness classes, and volunteering to be the kid taxi.

With love from Auntie Doris