Don’t let birds nest in your hair!

Martin Luther is attributed with the quote, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” This metaphor reminds us that we may not be able to control external events, such as losing a job, getting a divorce, or being in a car accident, but we do have the power to control how we manage our emotions following a devastating event.

I read a great article on Inc.com today about Barbara Corcoran and Shark Tank that included the thought-provoking metaphor and a story I didn't know. Barbara was “fired” from the show before they shot the first episode. Rather than dwell on the negative emotion and feel sorry for herself, Barbara responded by thanking the producer because “everything good happens to (her) after (she) gets rejected.” She continues sharing success stories to prove her point and ends with the expectation that she will be given a shot, which, of course, she earns.

This is a great reminder for me. I have faced many setbacks in my life and career, and sometimes I spend too much time dwelling on the negative emotions surrounding the situation. After being laid off a few years ago, I was angry for a long time. Even after good things happened – lots of good things, I would find myself harboring hatred.

As an entrepreneur, I can relate to failures and bad moments, but I also know that I can’t dwell on them. Barbara’s success comes from finding a way to process the negative and then move on through emotional intelligence. Her playbook includes three key points:

1. Don’t dwell on negative emotions.

2. Use the experience as motivation.

3. Focus on what you can control.

What will you do today to let go of a negative emotion or setback and turn those emotions into opportunities?